NLP Therapeutic Application: The Paper Cup Pattern

Here is an awesome pattern you can use when you want to work with analog quantities.

I’ve personally used it with greatest success in the case of relationship break-ups.

Here it goes.

Context of use: Client had a tough break up.

Timing: After rapport is established and client has had time to vent a bit.

Equipment needed: Paper cups, a felt tip marker and a jar of water

Pattern:

1. Set up a row of cups in front of your client.
2. Ask your client to write the name of the most important people in his/her life on the cups, one cup per person. Make sure she writes the name of the person (s)he was in a relationship with.
3. Hand your client the pitcher of water and say: “This water represents your love. I want you to pour water into each cup to show how much importance you give to each person.”
4. Allow your client to pour water into the cups at various levels. As your client reaches the cup of the ex-lover, turn the cup upside down.
5. Allow your client to react any way (s)he feels.

The key to this pattern is the anchor created between people and cups, importance and water. Once you turn the cup over, you’re conveying to your client that no importance must be given to this person.

ATTENTION: This pattern is intended to break a pattern and give the person command over the excessive feelings of importance attributed to the ex. Once you, as a practitioner, feel that your client has command over the feeling, flip the cup back up and ask him/her to pour the appropriate amount of “importance” into the ex’s cup.