Answers To Your NLP Questions

Protegé Q&A

UPDATE: There are A TON of questions and answers at the bottom of this page. Read them to learn from others’ questions.

The quickest way to learn Neurolinguistic Programming (NLP) is to get your questions answered!

Ask them here.

Post your questions in the comments section. I reply to questions on the same day, so you can visit the blog later and get the answer right away.

  1. What are the top two questions you have about Neurolinguistic Programming (NLP)?
  2. How hard has it been for you to find the answer to these questions?
  3. What would it mean to you to find the answer to these questions?

Take two seconds and write them down in the comment space below.

Comments

  1. Mike Lally says:

    1. Why doesn’t it work?
    Why do so many people persist inpretending it does?
    2. Impossible
    3. The truth

    • Martin Messier says:

      Hey Mike,

      Thanks for your message.

      Wow, big questions to tackle! I’m not sure where you’re coming from exactly, but I agree with you that there’s A TON of hype surrounding NLP and way too many people saying that “you can use NLP to do anything you want”.

      BS.

      What models have you tested that aren’t working?

      Cheers!

  2. 1. What is the connection between martial arts and NLP? How can you recognize and override yours and other people’s OODA loop?
    2. I have not seen much on this first question. And some for the second question.
    3. Understanding these questions would help open up certain insights in my world.

    • Martin Messier says:

      Hi kn,

      Here are some quick replies to get you going.

      You asked:
      “What is the connection between martial arts and NLP?”

      I’m not sure I’ve understood the question correctly, so here’s a shot. There’s no inherent connection between the two. Now, you can leverage some NLP skills in a martial arts environment. Here are some possibilities:

      1. Calibration: pay attention to cues that your opponent gives away before executing a move (useful in poker as well)
      2. Pacing and leading: mirror your opponent’s movements to establish rapport, then (mis)lead him/her to create an opening.
      3. Modeling: use modeling to acquire skills of the masters

      These are just a few.

      You asked:
      “How can you recognize and override yours and other people’s OODA loop?”

      Personally, I don’t like to override people’s loops. I find it more elegant to leverage them — unless, of course, they are disempowering and need to be updated.

      First, identify the trigger that unleashes the loop. Then, let the person describe the process by which (s)he came to a decision and acted. This is best accomplished without overtly asking the person to describe the process, but rather catching it while it’s happening (too long to teach by email, but actually very easy to learn).

      Hope this helps. I’m glad you’re on board! Stay tuned for more cool stuff.

      Keep rocking!

  3. My 2 questions—
    1. Can i learn it sitting at home without a mentor?

    2. What is the average time an average guy takes to learn n get the results?

    3. I found it very hard to to know the answers. A lot of hype , man.
    it would mean a lot.

    • Martin Messier says:

      Hi Negi,

      You asked: “Can i learn it sitting at home without a mentor?”

      Yes you can (the co-founders did). Ideally, you’d do this with a buddy of yours who’d be as committed as you would to master it.

      The key to this is rock-hard commitment and rigorous discipline. Any less than that and you won’t stand a chance on your own.

      Make sure you expose yourself to a lot of material, though. 80% of learning NLP is witnessing patterns in action and experiencing them yourself.

      You asked: “What is the average time an average guy takes to learn n get the results?”

      NLP is a complex field. You can master certain skills in a matter of minutes. For instance, tracking eye movement patterns. Others will require much more dedication to integrate. For instance, mastering calibration.

      What specific results do you want?

      You said: “I found it very hard to to know the answers. A lot of hype , man.
      it would mean a lot.”

      Way too much, if you ask me. NLP is a craft. Like any other, you can use it within a certain range of activities. How far you can take it will be up to you. But, for sure, don’t succumb to anyone’s promises.

      Master the epistemology and master the skills. How you pain the canvas will be up to you.

  4. Sharifuddin says:

    1. I am not sure where to start?
    2. Does it have anything to do with any religion?
    3. Its good to have the answer from any sources.

    • Martin Messier says:

      Hi Sharifuddin,

      You asked: “I am not sure where to start?”

      First, go through the Free Guide you downloaded from the blog. This will give you some solid grounding on what you have to focus on.

      Then, check out http://www.howtomasternlp.com/what-is-nlp/. This will get you straight on what NLP is and will give you a really good idea on the steps you’ll have to follow to master it.

      Thirdly, keep watching your email inbox. I’ll be sending you some great content over the next few weeks.

      You asked: “Does it have anything to do with any religion?”

      Not at all. More to do with psychology.

      You stated: “Its good to have the answer from any sources.”

      Sure. That’s why I’m here. Pleasure to serve you.

  5. Do NLP patterns work with written texts only? I mean, can I write someone a letter and have a way to effectively influence them? Like say a blog :-)

    • Martin Messier says:

      Hi Raul,

      Thanks for your question. You asked: “Do NLP patterns work with written texts only?”

      I’m not sure I understood your question correctly. But let me take a stab at what I understood.

      First, NLP patterns do not exist. NLP is simply a code used to transcribe the results of modeling activities.

      So I’ll assume you’re referring to persuasive communication patterns. Patterns that effective influencers and persuaders use to move the person they’re talking to one way or another.

      If that’s what you mean, influential communication patterns can be used in a variety of ways, both spoken and written, to achieve a specific result.

      You wrote: “I mean, can I write someone a letter and have a way to effectively influence them? Like say a blog ”

      There are powerful copywriters, whose work is easily available on the internet. And they write influential letters all the time. As well as blog posts.

      Yes, you can definitely write someone and letter and have a way to effectively influence them.

      If you want to learn how to do it, the best way is to model the best.

      Go to John Carlton’s websites. He has a few of them. Print out his sales letters and copy them, one by one, many times over. Then, go to his blog and read his blog posts. Then, copy them, one by one, many times over.

      Eventually, you’ll unconsciously pick up on certain writing patterns he uses to achieve specific results in his reader’s psyche, and you’ll start noticing yourself using them spontaneously in your communication.

      At that point, you’ll face the choice to either code the model formally (so you can share it) or simply have the skill available to you.

  6. 1. What are the top two questions you have about Neurolinguistic Programming (NLP)?

    How can NLP help me become Rich
    How can NLP help me become organized and do stuff fast and right

    2. How hard has it been for you to find the answer to these questions?
    Somewhat hard, given the hard practice I have been asked to perform while seeing little results

    3. What would it mean to you to find the answer to these questions?

    I will be the happiest person on earth!!! :)

    • Martin Messier says:

      Hi Sadaseeven,

      Great questions. Here’s how you become rich using NLP:

      1. Find someone who’s rich and able to consistently increase his/her earnings.
      2. Model him/her using the specific modeling methodology taught by John Grinder.
      3. Code your model using the NLP epistemology.
      4. Use the model consistenly and you’ll get the same results.

      Leverage the same 4 steps to become organized and do stuff fast and right.

      It’s easy and straight forward. Do it!

  7. 1. How to model a succesful person when i do not know any successful person personally?

    • Martin Messier says:

      Hi Nitin, thanks for the message.

      There are a great many places where you can approach successful people who are open and willing to share their success with you.

      Get resourceful! Where there’s a will, there’s a way.

      Martin

  8. 1- How does it work?
    How can i use it?
    2- Hard
    3- probably the beginning of a new phase in my life

    • Martin Messier says:

      Hey Rui,

      Wow! Big question there! Let me see if I can give you something useful…

      You can use Neurolinguistic Programming (NLP) to describe how amazing people produce their results.

      For example: Let’s say you want to figure out how Cristiano Ronaldo sees the field. Using the Modeling Methodology devised by Richard Bandler and John Grinder, you’d assimilate his skills. Once you were able to do it, you’d use NLP to code the way he does it.

      You can do the same for wealthy people, healthy people, great salespeople, and so forth.

      NLP gives you a tool to be able to describe how geniuses are able to do what they do.

      So the question is: what more do you want in your life? Who already has it? How can you model them to replicate their results?

      If you have more questions, don’t hesitate to ask!

  9. 1.) Does it actually work, and if so, what’s the science behind it actually working?

    2.) I’ve never bothered to look

    3.) I guess it’d be cool to know. I’m skeptical whether or not it would help me in the ways I want. Right now I’m very independent, and if I were to use this, it seems I would lose my independence, having to deal with “successful people” often.

    • Martin Messier says:

      Hi Rob,

      Thanks for the message. Let me take a stab at this… NLP is just a code that serves to register and describe the performance of geniuses identified through modeling. So there’s really nothing to work or not work.

      You might be referring to some therapeutic patterns that were originally modeled by the co-founders of NLP. The best way to find out whether they work or not is to try them out for yourself. Then you can definitely draw your own conclusion.

      That’s the beauty in this kind of work. It doesn’t revolve around “truth” or “proof”. A modeled pattern consists in a set of instructions. All you have to do is follow them and notice the result. If it works, great! If not, you might choose to go back to the drawing board.

      It’s good that you’re approaching it with a healthy dose of skepticism. It helps preserve your integrity.

  10. brian robinson says:

    1) Is NLP as effective as hypnosis techniques which use a deeper level of trance.?

    Why do the effects seem so short lived for so many people?

    2) I have been looking for answers to these for 2 years, and no-one wants to answer or perhaps they just dont know the answer.

    3) It would mean that I would be able to commit myself and my clients to NLP techniques.

    • Martin Messier says:

      Hi Brian,

      You asked: “Is NLP as effective as hypnosis techniques which use a deeper level of trance.?”

      Thanks for the message. Actually, NLP is just a modeling and coding language. People often confuse NLP with a therapeutic modality, which it isn’t.

      You can use NLP to model and code hypnotic techniques, rational-emotive techniques, psychodrama techniques and so forth. But NLP and therapy are two completely separate fields.

      Asking if NLP is as effective as hypnosis techniques would be similar to asking if English is as effective as carpentry techniques. They are two different fields for two different purposes.

      A skilled modeler (as were Grinder and Bandler) will be able to identify a competent therapist, acquire their skill, produce similar results, and then explicitly code those skills using NLP.

      You asked: “Why do the effects seem so short lived for so many people?”

      Let me inquire a bit further here… Do you have specific examples that I could address to better ground my response?

      You wrote: “It would mean that I would be able to commit myself and my clients to NLP techniques.”

      Oh, don’t force yourself to… Way overrated! Learn how to model in order to learn and design the techniques that will work most elegantly for you and your clients.

      Cheers!

  11. Munish kumar says:

    how can it help me clearing one of the toughest exam for management entrance in the world.GMAT.and suppose if i am less interested in engineering than management then how to get good grades in it if i do not like the subjects?

    • Martin Messier says:

      Hi Munish,

      Thanks for your message. If you want to use NLP to clear the GMATs, you have two options:

      1. Leverage the preparation strategies of great students that have been modeled and coded using NLP (you can look at this book).
      2. Find people who have successfully cleared the GMAT and model their preparation strategies, which you can later code using NLP.

  12. Mark Whiteside says:

    1. how does having nlp training help in becoming a better hypnotist?
    2. Just started researching NLP.
    3. It will change my plan of training by including nlp.

    • Martin Messier says:

      Hi Mark,

      NLP will equip you with a strong epistemology on which you can construct your hypnotic work. You’ll be able to direct your suggestions even more effectively.

      You can also use modeling to learn new inductions.

  13. 1) i am a begginer. will i make it work?
    how much time will it take to see some results?
    2) hard
    3) a will to learn

    • Martin Messier says:

      Hi Bill,

      Like any skill, it really depends on how much effort and practice you put into it.

      The more you practice, the faster you’ll see results. Now go for it!

  14. Hey Martin,
    What’s up dude? My two questions are:
    1). What are the most important NLP tools to begin working with right away?

    2). What’s the mindset one should adopt when working with NLP?

    I honestly haven’t been lookin’ for the answers to those questions but having those answers would equate to a better “vantage point” on the practical side than where I’m at now. Does that make sense?

    I’m gonna check out the report now. Thanks again.

    • Martin Messier says:

      Hey Shariyf,

      You asked: “What are the most important NLP tools to begin working with right away?”

      I guess by now you’ve read the report. That is, honestly, THE most important NLP tool to begin working with right away. I’m not kidding.

      Afterwards, study and practice calibration. Far and away the second most important skill.

      You asked: “What’s the mindset one should adopt when working with NLP?”

      Anything’s possible when you have enough flexibility to look for and find the way.

  15. hi Martin
    1 i just wanna know can nlp be linked with psychology and if yes how can it help someone than a therapy?

    2 can nlp be linked with animal therapy?

    • Martin Messier says:

      Hi Aakanksha,

      You asked: “i just wanna know can nlp be linked with psychology and if yes how can it help someone than a therapy?”

      NLP IS a psychological modality. It is an epistemology or a code, if you will, that you can leverage to model someone’s psychological processes.

      You can use it to model successful therapists and use their strategies to help someone.

      You asked: “can nlp be linked with animal therapy?”

      You might. Use modeling to successfully elicit the most successful patterns of intervention used in animal therapy.

      Interesting question…

  16. Hi, I really like this blog and have gotten a few answers just by reading around.

    Though there are a few specific questions I’d like to ask.

    1. What would be the most effective tool to use in overcoming fears and difficulties of using the phone or speaking in front of people? (the phone one is worse though and more critical) I’ve played with anchoring and the swish pattern but I’m that good at them yet. Should I master these ones to control me approach avoidance and phone fear or are there more effective ones in this case? What I want to do is eliminate the negative feelings towards calling prospects(or anyone else for that matter) and create positive associations and confidence so I’m motivated to pick it up instead of avoid it.

    2. Ok. There are a few resources on the web that have pointed me in the right direction, but haven’t helped me solve the specific question above.

    3. 70-90% of my entire life, business growth, wealth and almost everything else depends on this.

    Thanks in advance.

    • Martin Messier says:

      Hi Clinton, great to hear from you.

      You asked: “What would be the most effective tool to use in overcoming fears and difficulties of using the phone or speaking in front of people? (the phone one is worse though and more critical) I’ve played with anchoring and the swish pattern but I’m that good at them yet. Should I master these ones to control me approach avoidance and phone fear or are there more effective ones in this case? What I want to do is eliminate the negative feelings towards calling prospects(or anyone else for that matter) and create positive associations and confidence so I’m motivated to pick it up instead of avoid it.”

      You’re on the right track. And I need to know a bit more to best guide you. Do you feel scared, or anxious, or nervous, or slightly uncomfortable when it comes to speaking on the phone? If you were to specify a bit more how you feel, what would you tell me?

      I would also leverage a few more sophisticated approaches, like eliciting your drives and your blocks, to even more rapidly shift your associations.

      Write your answers in another comment below and we’ll take it from there.

  17. Karlo Salgado says:

    1. Has being more aware of NLP changed the total quality of your life?
    What are the major reasons people are motivated to learn about NLP?

    2. Not hard at all, just overwhelmed with information. I just want straight-up layman’s term answers.

    3. I am potentially embarking on a career path in this field with coaching and am interested to know the bottom line about this practice. so it is extremely important to me.

    • Martin Messier says:

      Hey Karlo,

      You asked: “Has being more aware of NLP changed the total quality of your life?”

      Good question. The right answer would be that committing to learning and mastering NLP changed the total quality of my life. Simply being more aware wouldn’t have cut it. Mastering it, however, has made a significant difference.

      Neurolinguistic Programming and Modeling, to me, are like Martial Arts. Life is the dojo. The more you practice, the more benefits you get.

      You asked: “What are the major reasons people are motivated to learn about NLP?”

      It varies. Generally speaking, though, it’s split between three purposes. The first is to improve one’s life and solve psycho-emotional issues in oneself. The second is to learn how to assist others in improving their lives. And the third is to learn how to get people to do what you want them to do.

      I’d love to say that the third purpose inevitably evolves back into the first and the second, but unfortunately it’s not always the case.

      You wrote: “3. I am potentially embarking on a career path in this field with coaching and am interested to know the bottom line about this practice. so it is extremely important to me.”

      So the bottom line is, stick to the field and master it. Don’t succumb to the hype. Learn to view NLP for what it REALLY is and what it has to offer. Pick worthy trainers. And stick to this blog as a resource.

  18. Hey Martin, thanks for the reply:)

    I just downloaded your e-book but haven’t gotten a chance to read it full through yet, just read the part about observation.

    As for speaking on the phone: I’d say anxious and nervous. Like this after noon someone called me, we had a great little chat, but my hands got sweaty and shaky. The reasoning mind says every thing’s ok but the emotional one seems to think there’s a reason to be nervous. I’m not an expert, but I know that whether I get a negative result or a positive one it’s feedback that will help me improve(as they say, success lies on the far side of rejection, or something like that), though when I start thinking about actually picking up the phone I do whatever I can to avoid it, and when on the phone it’s often very hard to keep a clear head. Best way I can explain it in NLP laymen is that it’s a stimulus response.

    • Martin Messier says:

      Hey Clinton,

      Let me ask you another quick question, based on what you wrote.

      Do you find it harder to understand the other person over the phone?

  19. 1.
    - Can it help me achieve what I want?

    - Can I master at least the basic quickly?

    2. Well just stared to getting to know NLP, so no sweet for the moment :)

    3. A nice start or even better, a nice introduction to NLP.

    • Martin Messier says:

      Hi Dejan,

      You asked: “- Can it help me achieve what I want?”

      Yes. The modeling method NLP offers can help you learn and implement the skills you need even faster and more effectively.

      You asked: “- Can I master at least the basic quickly?”

      Sure. It all depends on your level of commitment. Of course, I’m putting together a learning package that will make all of this even easier. Stay posted on the blog and in your email, and you’ll know when I release it.

  20. David Elliott says:

    I’m going to do my best to ask a well formed question to get the answer I can understand instead of the explanation you want to give me that you understand and want to give me unless the way you understand is the same way I can understand.

    I want to understand modelling and for some reason I can’t figure it out in a way to begin to use it. I have figured this much out.

    Find someone to model
    denominalize a nominalization -To me this means breaking down a generalization into peices

    Now I ran into the same problem with doing my best to understand guitar modal theory. I would ask a question of an instructor and he would show me something or explain it to me and I wouldnt understand it. So i did my best to hack it out on my own.

    Here is the question with frustration .

    How the fuck do you do it?

    Ok .Now here is the question without frustration.

    How do you begin to illicit a model of someone elses genius once you have found one to model?

    And can you write the process out in steps.

    Step 1
    Step 2
    Step 3
    Ect.

    David Elliott

    • Martin Messier says:

      Hey David,

      I totally feel your frustration, man. I was once in your shoes and it really pissed me off.

      Let me try to get you a useful answer so you can move in the direction you want. For that, let’s start working from a common benchmark.

      First, check out this post on modeling:
      http://www.howtomasternlp.com/modeling/the-6-master-steps-of-nlp-modeling

      If this doesn’t give you the answer you need, we’ll work on filling out some more details. Please post your additional questions in the comment sections of that post so everyone can benefit from our dialog.

  21. 1. How can i use NLP to influence people’s thoughts ? and also how can i master NLP with quick eas steps?

    2. It has been really hard to find ways i can do this without having to pay for it.

    3. It would mean more than having ice block on a hot sunny day.

    • Martin Messier says:

      Hi Tetoki,

      You asked: “1. How can i use NLP to influence people’s thoughts ? and also how can i master NLP with quick eas steps?”

      You asked how you can use NLP to influence people’s thoughts. The answer is simple. NLP offers you a model of how humans structure their internal experience. You can then use it to know what to say, at what time and at what place to reach the outcome you desire.

      To start learning it, I suggest you head out to this page. Follow the internal links and you’ll be well on your way to understand how to learn and master Neurolinguistic Programming.

      Remember: it’s a martial art. You’ll learn as fast as your commitment allows you.

      You asked: “2. It has been really hard to find ways i can do this without having to pay for it.”

      If you can’t pay in money, you have to pay in time. That’s what commitment is all about. No payment, no commitment. No commitment, no mastery.

  22. 1. What are the top two questions you have about Neurolinguistic Programming (NLP)?
    a) Is there a way to start using NLP without having to learn all the theory?

    b) What would be the best route on using NLP effectively to receive its benefits and change my life (motivation and career issues)?

    2. How hard has it been for you to find the answer to these questions?
    I\’ve been reading about criteeria, and models, and patterns… The texts are mostly about the theory! Exemples are good, but they\’re usually too general or too specific for me to grasp a real meaning. That means it\’s been hard!

    3. What would it mean to you to find the answer to these questions?
    A relief and a feeeling of freedom.

    • Martin Messier says:

      Hi Kamila,

      You asked: “a) Is there a way to start using NLP without having to learn all the theory?”

      Sure. What outcome are you after? What do you want?

      First, let me know what your outcome is. Then I can tell you how to get there.

      You asked: “b) What would be the best route on using NLP effectively to receive its benefits and change my life (motivation and career issues)?”

      The quickest and fastest route to solve motivation and career issues is to find a competent practitioner and have her coach you through the changes you want to effect.

  23. Richard S says:

    1. What are the top two questions you have about NLP?
    – how can I make it work?
    - how can I learn the NLP techniques and apply to my field

    2. How hard has it been for you to find the answer to these questions?
    Difficult

    3. What would it mean to you to find the answer to these questions?
    It would be very helpful

    • Martin Messier says:

      Hey Richard,

      Wow, big questions! First of all, what do you want to accomplish and what field do you work in? Let’s start with that and I’ll point you in the right direction.

      Depending on your field, rapport might be more important. For another, modeling might be more important. Your activity will determine the importance of each model.

  24. 1. What are the top two questions you have about NLP?
    Is the core of NLP mainly modeling?
    What are some ways for learning quickly?

    2. How hard has it been for you to find the answer to these questions?
    Difficult/Confusing

    3. What would it mean to you to find the answer to these questions?
    It would be most helpful

    • Martin Messier says:

      Hey Ryan,

      Yes, the core of NLP is modeling. In fact, that’s what NLP is. It’s a modeling technology, a code that enables you to acquire skills and then code them in a way that others may learn it more quickly.

      You asked: “What are some ways for learning quickly?”

      Do you mean learning NLP quickly? Or learning anything quickly?

  25. Sorry, I meant learning NLP quickly…

  26. 1. What are the top two questions you have about NLP?
    -If NLP is so powerful then why it is not included as a subject at school & college level ?
    -What should be the criteria for selection of model to master a skill ?
    2. How hard has it been for you to find the answer to these questions?
    Difficult/Confusing
    Difficult
    3. What would it mean to you to find the answer to these questions?
    It would be most helpful

    It would be helpful to work for application in these areas

    • Martin Messier says:

      Hey M P,

      Question 1. Awesome question. I’d love to figure it out myself!

      Question 2. Simple.

      1. The model produces a result you want to be able to replicate.
      2. The model is available for you to model in real time.
      3. If the model is unavailable in person, you have access to videotapes of the person performing the skill and producing the result.

      Welcome on board, MP! Should you have any more questions, please ask them in another comment below for everyone’s benefit.

  27. By request here are the questions.
    1. Does the name suggest what it is? Neuro LINGUISTIC? Hmm?
    2. Might another name be more descriptive of what it seems to entail?
    3. What\’s in a name?

    Sorry, but my grasp seems to leave out little curiosity at this point.

    • Martin Messier says:

      Hey Chris,

      Yes, the name gives it all away. Neuro, because it involves the nervous system. Linguistic, because of how language impacts the nervous system. And Programming, because behavioral patterns are actually encoded in instruction sets.

      So it’s all in the name.

      2. Might another name be more descriptive of what it seems to entail?

      Great question… I’ve debated this for extended period with John Grinder, one of the co-founders of the field. We figured there’s really no better way to label the field.

      3. What’s in a name?

      Packaged sensations.

  28. Ok. I have several question about NLP…
    How to model the excellent of jazz musician?? What is the similarity between NLP and Music..and especially jazz music??

    • Martin Messier says:

      Hi Luthfi,

      Welcome to our community. Let me address your questions one by one.

      To model jazz musicians, follow the six master steps of modeling that you’d use for any modeling project. You’ll find them here:
      http://www.howtomasternlp.com/13/the-6-master-steps-of-nlp-modeling/

      About the similarity between NLP and Music… They’re both fields that people choose to pursue. Good question. I don’t really see immediate similarities between them. What do you think?

  29. 1) What can i do with the eye accessing cues after i get good at reading them
    how much formal training have you had?

    2) it was very difficult

    3) the answer to the first question will help me get more information to increase my rapport skills.
    AND the answer to the second question would help me decide if you are a reliable source to learn from.
    I read on your site that you attended Tony Robbins seminars and you studied from Rex Sikes. What other training have you had? what does “went rogue” mean?

    • Martin Messier says:

      Hi Keyur,

      I laughed when I read your third comment. Shouldn’t you use the answer to my first question to decide if I’m a reliable source? I’ve gotten answers from people who have 8+ trainings under their belt who can’t make out a skin tone shift… But here we go!

      First, you actually need to use eye accessing cues loosely, because they don’t work in an “equation-style” fashion (eyes move up = “Ah, it’s visual!”). You actually need to calibrate the person to understand what processes someone is going through as she moves their eyes in a certain direction.

      For example, I was talking to a client last week who looked up before accessing her feelings. The link between visual lead –> kinesthetic state is way more important to know in that context than the actual eye accessing cue itself.

      So once you know this, you know to REALLY focus on the overall structure of behavioral patterns the person is presenting and how eye cues fit into it.

      From that point, you can intervene elegantly within that structure by:
      1. Present information in the same structure you’re observing
      2. Direct the person explicitly to look in a certain direction
      3. Interrupt patterns
      4. More…

      Generally, eye accessing cues point you towards the triggers of a pattern. Pay attention to those.

      About “formal” training: I won’t count Tony Robbins here. It’s way too broad and experiential. My only “formal” training was with Rex Sikes (outstanding trainer, visit with him if you can).

      Going rogue means going out on your own. After realizing that Grinder and Bandler had never been trained in NLP (because they made it up), I decided to model them instead. Much better strategy to develop competence through trial and error and real-life practice.

      It proved to be a great decision for me. Might not be for you. Some people prefer the safety of seminar rooms. I didn’t and don’t.

      Check out some of my posts recounting verbal interventions with readers of this blog and the effect on the readers. This will give you a better clue as to whether you can learn anything worthwhile here.

      Cheers!

  30. Harry Christensen says:

    1) What is NLP exactly?
    and
    Exactly how does it work?

    2) I’ve just started doing research on NLP so I’m not sure how hard it is to find out what the answer is.

    3) I’m a counselor and if it works the way the information that I have heard to this point says it does , it could be an invaluable counseling tool.

  31. Pat Travis says:

    1. What are the top two questions you have about NLP? How to use it on self effectively.

    2. How hard has it been for you to find the answer to these questions? Medium

    3. What would it mean to you to find the answer to these questions? Success

  32. Dylan McConnell says:

    My questions are: How does NLP work? & Why does NLP work?

  33. I’m sort of new to NLP and i was just wondering if you could tell me how to build rapport in a group that is larger then two people? and explain how I can do this, please.

    • Martin Messier says:

      Hey Max,

      Good to hear from you. For some reason, I didn’t receive your comment until today.

      Before I answer your question, tell me something:

      Do you know how to build rapport with one person?

  34. Grainne Gillis says:

    1. Can it change my belief system? Can I programme myself for more confidence and success?
    2. Moderately
    3. I would feel lighter and more purposeful

  35. Hi Martin,

    Firstly, thanks so much for all the stuff you are sharing.

    I have done a practitioner course of NLP and I am finding it really difficult to practise developing my sensory acuity. I start off by thinking I’m going to listen out for language patterns, (Actually, i’m not too bad at that!) or look at their eye patterns etc. but I get distracted by ‘what’ the person is saying. So, when I try and look out for changes in skin tonus, eye dilation etc sometimes I can spot them, but usually I get distracted because I can’t concentrate on what the person is saying at the same time as trying to concentrate on what is happening with their body language.

    Any suggestions (apart from the obvious one of “Keep practising!”)

    Thanks,

    Laura

    • Martin Messier says:

      Hey Laura!

      Here’s how you will build your skillset:

      1. Create a focus schedule.
      Each day of the week, you will focus on a specific piece of sensory acuity. Monday, sensory predicates. Tuesday, Meta Model violations. Wednesday, eye movements. Thursday, calibrate gestures. And so on.

      2. Use little drills.
      Develop exercises for each piece. For instance, to watch eye movements, watch interviews on mute on YouTube or television.

      3. Let them integrate.
      Eventually, your skills will fall out of awareness and you’ll be able to perform all of them simultaneously without effort. Just like driving a stickshift.

  36. Jason Rueda says:

    1. What are the top two questions you have about Neurolinguistic Programming (NLP)?
    1. Since a huge part of NLP is modeling the best in particular field. Who is currently the best teacher in NLP, preferably in USA? I’m looking to attend another seminar to master NLP.

    2. How hard has it been for you to find the answer to these questions?
    Extremely difficult! I know your teacher was Rex Sikes. I have also taken an intro to NLP for 4 days and I want to learn from the best.
    3. What would it mean to you to find the answer to these questions?
    It will make a massive difference. I love helping people and making a difference in their life. It truly fills me up. I love showing people a new possibility. I’m committed to mastering NLP and making it part of my life. The ripple effect especially in my career will make a huge difference, since so many are in terrible situations and are extremely stressed out. I’m a salesman in Real Estate, which I have an understanding that you tried selling time share before NLP, so you know how important it can be for me. The art of persuasion and reading people is extremely important. I have been to several Tony Robbins events including UPW and DWD, which were outstanding and it had a massive impact in my life. I have coached for Lifespring, which is a personal development program as well. Any help would be greatly appreciated. Also, your website has been the best so far on learning NLP. outside of the class room.

    Thank you,
    Jason

    • Martin Messier says:

      Hi Jason,

      Thanks for the compliment. I hope I can continue to live up to it.

      You wrote:
      “Who is currently the best teacher in NLP, preferably in USA?”

      Wow! It’s funny that, in 5 years of [masterNLP], no one has asked me that.

      Tough one, Jason. Very, very difficult to answer. Since learning is such a personal endeavor, trainers with whom I have affinities may not have anything to do with you.

      Also, most US-based trainers I would recommend focus more on therapeutic applications. People like Steve Andreas and Tad James are excellent at what they do, but aren’t aligned with your focus.

      Here are some recommendations:

      1. Learn from Michael Breen. Michael trains primarily out of the UK. If you can make it to his events, do it. I haven’t had the opportunity to train with him in-person yet, but everything I’ve watched, listened to and read from him resonates with the philosophy and skills I try to impart here. Michael created the first Business Practitioner program in the world. This kind of focus is what you need. Also, he first learned NLP from John Grinder (in my book, he’s the go-to guy) but also trained alongside Richard Bandler for many years. http://www.mbnlp.com

      2. John Grinder. The man who invented the field. He also trains mostly in the UK. But you will learn WORLDS from training with him. He trains primarily in partnership with Michael Carroll of NLP Academy.

      3. If you want a good bread-and-butter training in the US, opt for Robert Dilts’s NLP University. It’s well-rounded and will give you solid grounding in NLP principles and skills (although I’m not a fan of his Neurological Levels model).

      I’m currently putting together a platform that will allow people like you to systematically learn NLP online. It will probably be another few months before everything is ready. Make sure you sign up for the newsletter so I can keep you posted.

  37. Hi Martin,

    I found out about NLP while searching for ways to improve my self-esteem. Here are my questions:

    1. I have worked with an NLP practitioner for 2 months without any results. Are there people for whom NLP doesn’t work, or should someone change practitioner if they see no results?
    ( The person I worked with has a well established business in NLP coaching so I don’t think he is just out there to cheat people for money)

    2. I am really shy and nervous around women. If I want to model a friend of mine who is pretty successful with women, what questions should I ask? I don’t want to be him, but have his confidence and charm with the opposite sex.

    • Martin Messier says:

      Hi Johnny,

      You asked:
      “Are there people for whom NLP doesn’t work, or should someone change practitioner if they see no results?”

      NLP is not a therapeutic modality, so it doesn’t work at all on anybody to do anything. NLP offers a set of protocols and models you can use to model the behavior of people who produce outstanding results.

      As such, the question is not whether the practitioner is proficient at NLP. It’s really whether that person is proficient at boosting people’s self-esteem. Obviously, some people are outstanding at producing that result. If you’re working with someone who isn’t, you should definitely seek another professional to work with you.

      You asked:
      “I am really shy and nervous around women. If I want to model a friend of mine who is pretty successful with women, what questions should I ask?”

      Don’t ask questions. Observe and listen to him in action. Model his physiology. Model his intonation. Model his language patterns. Model the way he dresses. Then go out and test your model in the real world.

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